100 Things

I'm not feeling very creative today, so I'm stealing a blog meme and doing a 100 things about me post. I'm going to try to keep it to things that are NOT already on the blog though :)

1. I have two last names. No, not hyphenated last names. Two. Separate. Last. Names.
2. I have a dent in my thigh. I got it from an infant shot that became terribly infected. The doctors told my mom not to pop it but she didn't listen. Being a nurse, and I suspect almost as science-geeky as me, she measured the amount of pus that came out of it. It was 1 tablespoon.
3. The Tick is my hero, but secretly I adore The Evil Midnight Bomber What Bombs at Midnight.
4. I think dark chocolate is the superior chocolate.
5. My mother has boundary issues. Once, she invited me to a sex toy party. When I was 19. When I vehemently opposed the idea, she persisted. Six months later, she tried again.
6. My favorite number is 4 and my favorite color is blue.
7. I was born on Independence Day. When my mom was in labor, she told my dad, "If it's a boy, we're naming it Yankee Doodle." I am glad I'm female.
8. This is already harder than I thought it would be.
9. I used to have a very flatulent schnauzer named Fred. He went to that great yard in the sky when I was 15. I still miss him.
10. My cat Max likes to decapitate mice. I wish I were kidding.
11. My favorite cuisines are Mexican and Indian. The spicier the better.
12. I often don't know what is socially appropriate. For instance, talking about food right after talking about dead mice.
13. My brother is seriously dating a girl with the same (somewhat unusual) name as me. It's weird.
14. I am a very successful ex-nailbiter. I have not bitten in 5 years.
15. I love garlic so much it should be illegal.
16. I don't like being hugged. I have personal space issues.
17. I don't think ice cream is all that great.
18. I spoil my pets rotten.
19. I used to be a kleptomaniac. No, seriously.
20. I love baking, but I am not so fond of cooking.
21. My hair used to be rather straight, but in the last two years, it decided to get curly. I yell at it constantly.
22. I'm constantly being mistaken for a race or ethnicity that I'm not. A lot of people think I'm Asian, some have thought I was an ethnic Jew, and once, a guy that I had known for a while swore that I was Puerto Rican. My ethnic makeup is actually (in order of degree): French/French-Canadian, Swedish, Irish, Welsh, English and Scottish.
23. My husband is Bohemian (2nd American generation though). I think that's so cool. I used to call him my gypsy until he said he didn't like it.
24. I was once called a cryptotranscendentalist.
25. When I was a kid, I didn't like to eat much, so I would store my food in my (ginormous) cheeks and hide vegetables behind my ears. Mom would find me eating hours later.
26. I went to an all-girls, Catholic high school.
27. I went to a Montesorri school instead of preschool and during my tenure there I learned how to write a few words in cursive.
28. I still have nightmares from this one time in Montesorri when I had uncontrollable diarrhea during song time.
29. I started dating LB when I was 16 years old.
30. I am bisexual. When I came out to LB, he said, "Well I could have told you that." I guess it was no secret (except from myself!).
31. I don't think I'll ever come out to my family.*
32. I am a survivor of childhood sexual assault. I was 4. Never think your child is too young to know about these things, they NEED to!
33. I am also a survivor of attempted murder. I was 10.

34. I have forgiven both of my attackers unconditionally.
35. I think this list has gotten too morose.
36. Speaking of morose, I loved Sweeny Todd. But I hate the songwriter, because that $%&$%@& Johanna song gets stuck in my head ALL THE TIME.
37. I am scared to death of clowns and people with mascot costumes on, for no apparent reason.
38. I have an eyebrow piercing.
39. I talk to myself so much that one of my coworkers once got asked if I was "all there."
40. I secretly love having pets because instead of talking to myself, I can talk to them.
41. I had never seen a satellite in the night sky until last summer. I thought it was a falling star and LB had a good laugh.
42. I think Mel Brooks is a comic genius.
43. I think there is something wrong with my sense of humor.
44. I had braces twice when I was a kid.
45. I have had plastic surgery. When I was a toddler, I was a climber (still am, actually). I had climbed onto the back of the couch, and I slipped between the couch and the wall. I didn't hit the floor though, because my upper lip caught me. So the docs fixed that. I always wondered why that was the one part of my face that wasn't asymmetric in any way.
46. I didn't find out about that surgery until I was a teenager. I was railing on about the evils of plastic surgery when my mom said, "You've had plastic surgery, you know."
47. I was born six months after my parents got married. You do the math.
48. Despite that shaky beginning, my parents are still married, 26 years later.
49. Whenever I talk to my pets, I inappropriately put an "s" on the end of words. "Freki, it's time for your dinners." "Kitties! Do you want some shrimps?"
50. I'm a genius, but you wouldn't know it from talking to me.
51. I'm also the world's biggest ditz.
52. I love stationery and other paper products so much that LB only lets me visit Office Max on special occasions.
53. I used to be a huge tomboy but now I love many girly things, including underwear, shoes, purses and makeup.
54. I'm still conflicted about this, but the conflicted feelings fade with every new pair of shoes...
55. Speaking of shoes, LB is in the final steps of purchasing a shoe store. Closing date is April 1...keep your fingers crossed!
56. I love to read.
57. I didn't used to, until we figured out that I was farsighted. After I got my reading glasses, I became a very avid reader.
58. I think I am losing my hearing, and it terrifies me.
59. I'm really really liberal. Not anarchist liberal, though.
60. I'm pretty ticklish.
61. One of my favorite "everyday treats" is vanilla yogurt with some granola and lots of ripe raspberries.
62. I love hockey. I have a secret plan to marry a hot goalie and then keep LB as my poolboy. LB thinks it's a cool plan because then he gets to be a kept man.
63. I like camping.
64. One of my favorite movie lines ever? "This is not a democracy, it is a cheerocracy."
65. I like to shoot guns. And bows.
66. The first time I ever shot, I was given a .12 shotgun. After I shot it, I fell on my ass. BUT, safety rules firmly in place in my head, I kept the gun pointing downrange at all times.
67. I have thrown a bowling ball backwards. Twice. I was drunk neither time.
68. I'm pretty religious.
69. Heh. 69. I'm also pretty immature.
70. Nothing makes me more mad than when people base their beleifs and lifestyles on things the Bible doesn't say, but they claim it does.
71. Except maybe when people use the Bible/religion as an excuse for hate and discrimination.
72. The color pink makes me twitch with rage.
73. The day I stop leaving my keys in weird places is the day the universe ceases to exist.
74. I'm a lot more sensitive than I let on.
75. I need medication just to be normal. LB and I call my medication my happy pills.
76. In case you're wondering, this is normal.
77. I am a supertaster.
78. Some of my best friends I met online.
79. Sometimes I use weird sentence structure.
80. Neither of my cats is declawed.
81. In my mother's posession is a picture of a little girl who looks EXACTLY like I did at 4-5 years old. The picture was taken nearly 50 years before I was born. She took it to a psychic and asked the psychic only to tell her about the children in the photo (there were like 8 of them), and the psychic picked out that girl, told my mom about her life and death (and was right, when my mom later researched it), and said that I was her reincarnation.
82. I have never met either of my biological grandfathers - one died long before I was born and the other was a deadbeat.
83. If 82 is the last number you saw on this post it's because I accidentally hit publish instead of save before I went home from work.
84. I sometimes talk in my sleep. I have been known to say "Get bublegum for Fred" (my former dog) and "breasts are expensive."
85. I performed in the Super Bowl XXIX halftime show.
86. I hate decorating.
87. No matter how hard I try, I can't manage to get out of bed on time.
88. My favorite flavors are lemon and raspberry.
89. I don't like to eat fish, but I like most sushi. LB is my sushi taster; if he says it's too fishy, I don't eat it. This is a sacred trust.
90. I HATE HATE HATE it when people eat off of my plate without asking. Dude! Just ask and I'll give you a bite.
91. LB and I met when he was my brother's camp counselor. I was a camper. Ooooh, naughty.
92. We discovered we went to sister schools - he went to the all-boys high school right next door to my all-girls school.
93. I stole him from his girlfriend.
94. He said he loved me for the first time on our third date. His hand was still on my boob when he said it. I reciprocated (I mean about the I love you part not the boob part).
95. During our wedding reception, we played White Wedding by Billy Idol.
96. I'm a freaky good boggle player.
97. LB won't play with me anymore, so sometimes I play with myself. Boggle, I mean, you sicko.
98. I like depressing songs that have an upbeat rhythm.
99. My major hope in life is to someday be a grandma. I'd make a kick ass grannie.
100. In my next life, I want to return as a house cat.


*Since writing this post, I came out, but unfortunately, I did so unplanned and drunk.  That is not a good idea.